Tony Romo’s career has been up and down, to say the least. Since attending the 2003 NFL Combine yet going undrafted in the same year, his career might be described by some as “a turd wrapped in a really nice bow.” He’s had success at times, but Romo’s frequent failure to meet expectations, his habit of throwing the ball to the other team, his frequent season ending injuries, and his lack of success in the playoffs has made him a popular target for the internet. So to celebrate Romo’s career of mostly suckiness and occasional mediocrity, let’s take a look at his career as told by savage internet memes.
Most recently, Romo literally broke his back in a preseason game–a game that means dick all for the actual outcome of the season, for you non-football fans, and he’ll be out of the picture for the Dallas Cowboys for several weeks while he gets that shit fixed. It takes a special kind of failure for your star quarterback to break his back in a preseason game that means nothing.
Romo should probably wrap it up, or face another visit to the doctor with a burning sensation and a night of regret.
Come on, Romo. Just because you’re scared of the big bad men ending your season again doesn’t mean you get to flop.
Let us not forget about another one of Romo’s lasting legacies: interceptions in clutch situations, like when he threw two interceptions in the first half against the Panthers in 2015. The ball’s supposed to go to your players, Romo.
GOOD GUY ROMO
It’s not all bad. Once in awhile Romo takes responsibility and shits the bed all on his own so that his team has no one to blame but Romo himself.
Keep on living the dream, Tony. Someday they’ll change the rules for you.
GOING IN RAW
Hear that sound? That’s the sound of Romo going to pound town without a rubber on the buttholes of thousands of disappointed Dallas Cowboys fans. Speaking of choking…
Romo once dated Jessica Simpson, who you may have heard of. Given his tendency to throw to the wrong receivers, we’re guessing that relationship ended in a dark bedroom, rather abruptly and painfully, when Romo tried to squeeze it in a tight place. Still, there’s no way Romo fucked Jessica Simpson as hard as he’s fucked Dallas fans.
SAVAGERY EVEN FROM COWBOYS FANS
Even Romo’s own fans are dicks to him. And all he can manage is that shit-eating grin. Must feel good to know you’re getting paid millions to choke when your team needs you most.
THANK GOD FOR CHEERLEADERS
If there’s one good thing we can say about the Cowboys, it’s that they gave us their cheerleaders. Out there every Sunday doing high kicks in those tiny little shorts as if people really care about their dance routines and not just trying to get a peek upstairs. Bless their little hearts.